Job posting: seeking funeral blog writer

     Ever since my sister moved to Texas, about a year ago, she has been trying to convince me to move closer to her by sending me job postings for editors and writers in Texas. The latest job posting was a blog writer for the funeral industry. Example topics ranged from "advice on which coffin is right for you" to "what to do with your cremation ashes."
     I read the posting, laughed, and told her that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from working humor into those blog posts, which, considering the subject matter, may be considered inappropriate. Nobody wants a sarcastic blog post about "what to do with your cremation ashes."
     ...Or do they?
     The idea got stuck in my brain and I half wrote the article in my head. I'd start with the usual ideas, of course.
          "Put the ashes in a classy urn above your fireplace!" (Side note that "how to choose the right urn for your loved one's ashes" would make another great article)
          "Choose a locket to keep some ashes in, so that you will always have your loved one close."
          "Sprinkle the ashes in your loved one's favorite place." 
     And then I'd throw a crazy but still relevant idea in there. Something like:
          "Get their ashes made into a forever diamond."
     And we'd just get crazier from there.
          "Fertilize your garden with their ashes! Treat odors in your house with a sprinkling of ash! Use their ashes as the exfoliant in a face scrub! Smear some ash on your face to pretend like you're Cinderella! Throw the ashes in the faces of your enemies to confuse them!"
     ...Let's just say that I didn't apply for the job. Some articles are better left unpublished, even if they are hilarious.
     Welcome to the English Language.